The new school room

We finally finished the school room this weekend and the kids love it! Shaw took the dining room table apart and put it in the attic. Then, we put the desks together, one for each kids. They were SOO excited about them. Then, in the afternoon, we went to Lowe's and picked out a ceiling fan with lights for the schoolroom too. Shaw took the chandelier down (remember it was a dining room). The only thing left that resembles a dining room is the wallpaper, which I am not going to take down right now. It still looks great, I think. Tell me what you think. Do u think the wallpaper will be distracting? I had thought about putting up that big roll paper over it in a solid color, but am not sure if it is really necessary.

On a different subject, tomorrow, I have an appt with the GYN/oncologist in Savannah, GA. We are going to discuss my options concerning having my ovaries out. My medical oncologist here feels strongly that I either get them removed soon or start taking tomoxaphin, which is a chemo drug that basically blocks all estrogen production. I am not going to take this drug, because of all of the side effects, including uterine cancer. It is not recommended that I have any more children, but I am not going to pretend that we had not already come to that conclusion ourselves either. I know that having my ovaries removed will put me into menopause, and I am not crazy about it. I need them out for 2 reasons: 1) to decrease my risk of having a recurrence of breast cancer and 2) because my risk of ovarian cancer being that I am positive for the BRCA-1 mutation. I am hoping to have this surgery the first part of November, because Shaw will be on vacation. I will not need to be out of work long, and may be able to rearrange my scheduled so I don's miss any shifts at all. My plastic surgeon, whom I saw on friday, wants to do my final reconstruction surgery mid December. I wanted to wait until the spring, but he insisted that it would be better then. So, i should have all my surgeries done in 10 months total! I will be happy with that, I guess.

Thanks for everyone's prayers this weekend, as it is the anniversary of Matthew's death today. It has been 15 years. It doesn't seem like that in some ways, but in others it seems like a lifetime ago. I was 19 years old not even in nursing school yet. I have graduated from college, met and married my fabo husband Shaw, had 2 beautiful boys, 3 miscarriages, and breast cancer. Those are only a few things. Most of my good friends now didn't even know Matthew. I feel very supported and loved though, as they seem to understand the loss. Avery mostly looks like Cristina and Mamu mostly looks like me, but every now and then, I catch a glimpse of Matthew and the joy that he had in his heart, when I look in their little faces. It takes my breath away and brings teats to my eyes. Even they seem to understand my loss and ask questions about him all the time. It seems like we talk about him daily almost, and it makes me happy for them to know about the uncle that they will never meet on this earth. The uncle who would have been totally enamored of them. It also opens up so many conversations about death, heaven, and our Saviour. Glory has been and continues to be brought to Jesus through Matthew's death, even to my children. I praise God for my brother's ongoing witness and all the chances that I have and will have to share about God's wonderful love and His Son to my sweet babies.

I am taking the kids tomorrow and then after the appt taking them to Chuckie Cheese. They have been asking to go, so I am meeting a friend of mine there. There is also VBS this week, so we are going to busy....

July 4th and back to work

For july 4th my mother-in-law, Mary, and my little niece, Rebekah, came to spend a few days here. Our babysitter and good friend, Sally, and her parents had a cook out by their pool. We went to that and the kids had an awesome time swimming and eating. I still cannot get in the water because I have one remaining drain. We had a great time visiting and eating awesome food. My niece, Rebekah, is so sweet and the boys had a great time playing with her. After the cook out, we came home for a little rest and then headed out for the fireworks. We parked and sat in the yard of our church and had a great view. The kids loved them and said that they were not too loud. The kids sat in front of us on the ground and we got some great pics!

With Sally

Sweet cousins at the fireworks

The next Sunday I went back to work. It went ok. We were really busy, but I am orienting one our new nurses for the next 3 to 4 weeks, so that helped. She has already been on day shift for 2 months, so really she just needs a little help with paperwork and for me to be a sounding board and given direction a little. I really worked her too! She was awesome! She just kept taking everything I gave her. He name is Marti, and she has been a nurse for 2 years in ICU. My back did start hurting after about 6 hours of us busting it, but then we had a chance to sit down for a little while and talk. I took some Motrin, and my back felt better. I still have my drain, but I go back Friday, so maybe it will come out. I really missed the kids, but they had fun with Shaw. We are going to start getting back to our normal routine soon.

I turned the playroom (previously the dining room) into the school room, AND I LOVE IT! I ordered 2 new desks for the kids and am going to move the dining room table to the attic, hopefully. I will post pics when it is all done. I am so excited about it! We are going to start August first with all the public schools here, and it will give us more freedom throughout the year.

All in all, I am doing really well and am just moving forward. i am going to see the GYN oncologist soon I hope. All my records are being faxed there today. Will let everyone know how that goes. Hope everyone else is well, and will post soon about the schoolroom and the kids well visits this year!

Fun at home

Well, my surgery was done on June 15th and everything went well. I had the latissimus dorsi FLAP surgery done on the left side only. All the doctors suggested we take more skin off the left side, just in case there was some cancer in it and to widen the clear margin. The surgery was at 730am and my parents and sister Jennifer came with 2 of hers, Will and Wyatt. The surgery only took a couple of hours and I actually went back to Labor and Delivery, so that I could make sure to get a bed. Isn't that hilarious! It was nice to have my friends take care of me. I didn't have that much pain until I started with a migraine about 3 am. I went home around 9am and then my migraine got killer. It lasted about 3-4 days, and thankfully, my family and church family were there to help. My church provided meals for like 21/2 weeks, so that was nice. Once my migraine cleared, I started enjoying being home.

Avery and I had already finished school, so we have done some fun projects that we had not had a chance to do. We planted some carrots and onions, we made Indian costumes and headdresses, made cake and cookies, etc. Of course, we have done swimming and Monkey Joe's a couple of times too. Last Thursday, we checked out the "dinosaur exhibit" at Georgia Southern, if you can call it that. It looked like what it really was, was trying to find a link between whales and water dinosaurs. Whatever, the kids had fun. They had a space room too that they liked. I went with my friend April and her little boy Drew and we also brought Nic's little boy Benny. These are Avery's two best friends. They all had a great time, even Matthew seemed to enjoy himself.

We have 3 puppies left from the original 6, so hopefully they will be gone soon. Even the kids are starting to get aggravated with them. They jump, scratch, and bite. Since there are 3 of them, it is overwhelming when you are trying to walk or for the kids to play outside.

I go back to work next Sunday, so I have one more week, then back to reality. I am still sore, but am hoping I will still be able to go back then. I have so enjoyed being home with them though. We are having such a good time. I am enclosing a few pics of just summer things that we have done.

Thank you for everyone's prayers and support during this time. I really am doing well, and will have one more surgery this year in September. The both oncologists have suggested that I should have my ovaries removed this year. I am going to see the GYN oncologist in Savannah to see what his opinion is, and for him to do it maybe. Then, I will be done for probably a year at least. The pathology came back on the skin as negative for cancer, so that is also good news.

Here are the pictures: The one with the puppy is with the little boy of a friend of mine, Lisa, who came and got two of the puppies. This one they named Coco and was for her little boy, Carter. The kids were so glad that she was going to be taken good care of.

Springtime!

Easter 2011

Well, it has been hectic since I have been back to work and had a "chemo scare", but I think I am getting caught up with things. We went to the mayo Clinic for a second opinion at the suggestion of the oncologist here. Quite frankly, he wasn't sure what to do with me. All of different aspects of my cancer was right under the indications for chemo. The breast oncologist at the Mayo Clinic said right away that I am not a candidate, my tumor is just too small. Praise the Lord for that, but in pushing back my surgery until we saw that doctor, I still haven't had my second surgery. My surgery is now scheduled for June 15th. I am ready for it and to move on.

Avery and I are wrapping up the first grade. We have 3 more weeks left. He has done so well! We are both ready for a break, so is Matthew! Tonight was Avery's last baseball game of the season. He loves it and has really gotten into it! I am posting pics.

Matthew is doing well and getting bigger, he prefers football to baseball and insisted that he needed football cleats when I got Avery's for baseball. They are so cute!

Springtime also means that we emerge for from our winter hibernation! We have been back at church for the last month and Avery has loved sunday school. Matthew is still not so sure. I never put him in the nursery, so this is new for him. He is getting used to it. I asked him what he learned a couple week ago and he said, "Mmm, I don't remember". Avery heard us and told Matthew, "Just say you learned about God, that is a always a good answer!" lol

Our fabo babysitter Sally is home now, and we are so excited! The kids love her so much and that means I get to sleep when Shaw goes to work, at least for the next few months! She has already helped me tremendously around the house.

Hopefully, my posts will be more frequent now that things are settling down a bit.

Back to work

Well, tomorrow night I go back to work, but I don't want to. Physically, I am ready, I think. I will miss my babies, though. Four weeks of being home was nice, I have to admit. I am a little nervous about going back to work because my range of motion in especially the left arm is not back to normal and it is painful to reach up still. I do need to go back to work as my vacation and sick time are all gone now, and there is no reason to be home anymore. If I had a less physical job, I might have been able to go back 2 weeks ago, but we do so many things that require pushing, pulling, and sometimes running. Please pray as I go back that it will go smoothly.

I know that not many people read my blog that do not know what is going on, so I am going to given updates this way sometimes. If you stumble upon this and do not know what is going on, feel free to email me. My next surgery is going to be mid May hopefully the 17th or 18th is we can get that. I am going to have the latissimus dorsi FLAP done, since when the pathology came back, they found the cancer was so near my skin that they want to take some more skin. Only on the the left side though. The recovery time is about the same, 4 weeks will hopefully be enough. Still no chemo or radiation, because there is no cancer there right now, just prophalaxis. Why didn't they do it during the first surgery? They were not positive that it was that near the skin until the pathology came back. So that is 7 weeks until the next one. Thank you for everyone's prayers and support. I really am doing well.

The kids have enjoyed me being home, I know. i have to remind myself of all those reasons that I chose to go back to work in the first place, and I know we made the right decision when I see Shaw with the boys: playing baseball, playing football, snuggling in the bed when I get home from work, etc. I am glad that I can help my family out and allow my husband to be home way more than most dad's get to be. I still miss them. We have been able to keep up with school pretty well also, thank goodness. I should be done with Avery and ready for summer break by the end of my next time off, which will be mid-June (we didn't start until Nov 1st.) This coming up year, we are going to start when everyone else does so I can have more leeway during the year. My third surgery will hopefully be mid August, 8 weeks back at work again before the next one. That one should not be as long of a recovery, because they will only be changing out the expander implants for the permanent silicone ones. Then, maybe I will not feel such pressure during the year and be able to enjoy things a little more. Like science and history. I enjoy having Avery home so much and have no idea when we will send him to school. I would miss him SOOO much and so would Shaw and Mamu.

Please continue to pray as I go back to work and have these upcoming surgeries. I know that God is on control of every part of my life, including finances. I know that He will provide for us as I am out of work for so long also. Thanks everyone for all you guys have done for me and continue to do. Will let everyone know I work goes next week....

Sweet babies

The other day we were at K-Mart on our way out to the car. The kids were in the grocery cart, and I was getting them in the car. Since I am really not supposed to lift anything over 5 pounds, they were trying to climb straight from the cart into the car. I actually did lift Mamu, but Avery tried to climb out. He had one foot in the car and one in the cart. The cart started rolling and his legs were going opposite ways. I grabbed him to me and sort of yelled out. Avery said,"Mom! Are you ok? I am so sorry! Did I hurt you?" Can u believe how sweet that is? I actually yelled put because I was afraid he was going to fall, of course. I could just see his head hitting the pavement! Can u believe how sweet he is? He always thinks of of others before himself, especially me.

Mamu has been as equally sensitive. If he accidentally grazes my chest area, he says," I'm sorry, Mommy, did that hurt? You feel better in 2 days?" He feels them and says,"You are strong, Mommy!" (they are hard as rocks at this point). I miss the snuggling with their heads in the crook of my arm pit and chest. They are such sweet little men!

I am so blessed to have such sweet little boys who care for their mommy so much! How can I stay down for too long with those two around!

Here is my little Mamu's pictures until now. He is such a joy each day, as are both my kids

Mamu at 6 months

Mamu at 9 months

Mamu at one year old

Mamu at 2 years old

My Mamu is 3!

Well, Matthew turned three on March 7th and some dear friends had their little boy that same day, so there was extra cause for rejoicing. We actually had Matthew party the thursday before since my sister and mom will were visiting. We had a family party that night and we had a great time. Matthew and Avery both got a bunch of Buzz Light Year and Spiderman stuff as a together present this year since they both are into costumes and all the same stuff. I was not going to get double of everything. When they got all the stuff, i explained that it was BOTH of theirs to share, not one of the other. Don't think I am a mean mommy or anything, I am tired of toys that no plays with and that I step on. All the buzz light year stuff is in a particular box in a certain spot, and that is the only place they can play it. Then, those little pieces will no be all over the house. They also got new tooth brushes and and some books that they wanted. We had a great time and a fun time with Auntie Cristina (who Avery just calls Cristina now) and Grandma and Papa, who had to leave before we had the party. Like, Avery's I am going to leave you with some fun pictures of the party and some of as he has grown. His birth story I did a couple blogs back, if you missed it-check it out!